


Vriska: Be Bridezilla

by Dbo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-06-14
Updated: 2011-06-13
Packaged: 2017-10-20 10:30:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/211829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dbo/pseuds/Dbo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John asks Vriska to Marry him. Que Bossiness and shenanigans abound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vriska: Be Bridezilla

**Author's Note:**

> Originally done for the Homestuck kink meme prompt located here:http://homesmut.livejournal.com/7440.html?thread=9648656#t9648656
> 
> I kinda took the premise and decided to make a long, involved, hopefully enjoyable fic out of it. Just starts out as John and Vriska but I am gonna do what I can to work most of the kids and trolls in.

John was never so nervous before in his life. Here he was on one knee, holding a ring, and Vriska just stared at him completely bewildered.

Every awkward second without a response made the panic in his mind go off like a fire alarm, and doubts ran across it a mile a minute. _Oh god I messed up this must be too fast for her jegus what was I thinking this is a terrible idea and-_

"John", Vriska interjected into his neurotic self-monologue, "You know I love you, but what the fuck does 'will you marry me' mean?"

John couldn't help but sigh in relief as he John got up off his knee. "haha man I should have thought of that sooner, you guys don't have marriage do you?"

"Nope, and I really have no clue what any of these words mean, so please explain what the hell is going on here with the ringbox and that knee ritual thing", she said slightly agitated and mostly confused.

John placed his hand on the back of his neck rubbing it slightly as he tried his best to explain, "Okay so um, you know that quadrant thing that we are for you trolls?" Vriska cracked a smile and moved in closer to John, wrapping her arms around him. "You mean Matesprits, John. We've been that for years, you think you would remember the word for it", she teased, dropping the annoyed tone, now far more curious into where this was leading.

John removed his hand from his neck and wrapped his hands around her hips, "Yeah! Well when humans have a person they want to be like their Matesprit for life, they get married. when you get married, you have this big ritual there everyone's friends and families show up together, They exchange what's called vows, give each other rings, and then kiss, followed by a big party! Then, after that, he couple are considered Husband and Wife."

Vriska chuckled, "Man humans are weird. I don't quite get why we need to prove we are Matesprits, buuuuuuuut if you want to have your big fancy ritualistic party, I guess that's okay."

John's face lit up, "Wait, so does that mean yes?"

"Yes John, I will do the strange human Matesprit ritual with you."

"You mean Marry" John said with a grin

"Bluh, shut up and kiss me already!", Vriska commanded, and John wasted no time following it.

\---

That night, after John fell asleep Vriska wandered around their shared house, pacing restlessly. Her agreeing to the ritual made John as happy as an oinkbeast in crap, however the fact of the matter was that she had no idea what the hell she was supposed to do, and that bothered her badly.

 _Stupid sexy adorable John_ , she thought to herself with a sigh as she sunk down on a seat in front of the computer.

She wasn't even sure she really wanted to do this, but as bossy as she was, she could never say no to John when he was that excited and shooting that adorable smile of his. She decided to log on and use her Trollian timeline feature to go back onto the Earth Internet and see what exactly a wedding was.

 _Ain't no sense to go into something like this flying blind_ , she thought as she started to search.

The first thing that popped up in her search was Dresses. Tons and tons of dresses. In fact if she had to take a guess on the amount of dresses, it was all of the dresses. All of them. They were all fancy, bright, white, and totally not her style in any sort of way. Kanaya might get a kick out of all of these, but they were just too boring for her.

Her other results were equally as unappealing to her. Big fancy flowers. Big fancy buildings. Big fancy flowers. Videos of people being all cheerful and weepy. Boring, boring, booooooooring and more boooooooorrrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnnng. She sat with one hand propping her face up, starting disinterested in this and wondering what the hell sort of boring mess she just got herself into.

After hours of this she had nearly given up on anything that would make this whole wedding thing interesting when she apathetically clicked on her next wedding related video on youtube. It was from an earth TV show called "Bridezilla", and it didn't take long for it to grab her attention.

Vriska couldn't pull herself away from this disaster of watching human females be bossy x8 and get their way. Each time they kept hounding on about it being their special day. _Wait...weddings are all about the girl getting what she wants?!_ Vriska thought to herself in shock. She checked more Bridezilla videos, and sure enough, all of them were the same, the females getting what they want and doing anything to do so.

When she was done with the videos Vriska's realization of the situation fully dawned on her. It was going to be about her. Allllllll about her. Vriska knew what she wanted. She was going to make this the most super, awesome wedding in the history of paradox space, and juuuuuuuust the way she wanted it to be.

She soon started to grin a truly wicked smile. It was the sort of smile that would send shivers up anyones spines, make woofbeasts whimper in terror, make men of the cloth believe they had seen true evil, and make children cry endless varations of "Stranger Danger!"

She reached for her best note taking pen and began to furiously scribble down all of the plans. All of them.


End file.
